Mom Guilt

So many bloggers have been talking about this lately and I just think it’s awesome. It is an actual thing that so many people don’t even realize. So I just want to put my two cents in on the subject because it’s something I have been struggling with since Rory was born. I think because I was so much younger with my first daughter Hailey that it just didn’t occur to me that “mom guilt” was a thing. I was too busy working, taking classes online and running around that I didn’t have time to even feel guilty. I knew I was doing it all for her. However, now that I am older and I stay home, I feel SO GUILTY when I want to do ANYTHING without the girls. Plus, I just know I’m going to miss them so much.

It has gotten to the point I usually bring them with me EVERYWHERE. Doctors appointments, hair appointments, shopping, grocery shopping, running errands, seeing friends, nail appointments, etc. You name it and chances are they are with me every step of the way. But the truth is, we need time away. Better yet, WE DESERVE TIME AWAY. Being a mom, whether you work full-time or stay home full-time, is hard freaking work. It’s never-ending work and the more kids you have, the more work you have.

Between the laundry for four people, the dishes that get piled up after EVERY meal, the homework, the bath times, cooking every meal (sometimes separate meals), cleaning the house, a dog that never stops barking, paying bills, running errands, doctors appointments for everyone, pick up and drop off at school and much much more. When do you actually get to even breath? Half the time I am literally peeing while holding Rory haha.

Feeling guilty about doing things for yourself will not only affect you but the relationships around you. With your friends or even your boyfriend/husband. You need to remember to live life with the people who have been there for you through it all. They still want to see the person you were before you had spit up on every new shirt you just bought. They want to talk to YOU. Not mom you, real you haha. There is a difference. I can’t express it enough either, YOU DESERVE IT. Even if you go out for just an hour, something is better than nothing.

I personally have trouble following my own advice still. I can probably count on two hands how many times I have gone out without the kids since September. I just truly love being with them but I also worry soooooooo much. Like panic attack, anxiety mess, with a side of heart palpitations. Last night was the first time since I had Rory that I actually went and got my hair done WITHOUT kids. It took me so long to say goodbye. I kept going back in for more kisses and I felt a huge ball in my throat when I got in the car. After a little while at the salon, I realized how nice it was. WHICH DOESN’T MAKE YOU A BAD MOM WHEN YOU HAVE THIS AH HA MOMENT. It was just nice to sit, relax and be pampered. Not have to get up every five seconds when trying to sit, no running around looking for lost pacifiers or shopkins and no yelling to let the dog out, etc. THERE WAS EVEN SOME SILENCE! But I did enjoy mostly having some adult conversation with my girl Michala.

This morning I woke up feeling so ENERGIZED. Refreshed and ready for ALL THE MOM THINGS. My head was clear and I was clam cool and collected. Which made me have another AH HA moment that it’s okay to do things for yourself as a mother. It is okay to enjoy things without your babies. IT IS OKAY TO MISS THEM and have them miss you. It makes us stronger and helps us find our peace. So for you all you mammas out there feeling guilty, I challenge you to do something for yourself this weekend. Do you think you can do it?